4 posts tagged “wendy”

I was trying to do something relatively meaningless today and Wendy just would not let me.  I very nicely moved her... she came back.  I moved her a little more aggressively... back again.  It would be nice if any of us in life got to feel that self-assured.  Wendy knows that she's just been rebuffed, but is also completely certain that she'll be accepted next time.  Or next time.  Or next time.  She simply doesn't give up.

One of the reasons I didn't really want Wendy curling up on me is because there was a flea discovery last night... eww.  That's simply disgusting.  I hate for anything to die, but I got out of bed and spent 2 hours brushing the cats and killing fleas.  Paxil had the worst of it, I suppose because he's so incredibly fluffy and gets bad hair snarls.  Brushing Paxil was a two-person job; Steve held him and I commenced with flea removal.  Oddly, even though Paxil was subjected to this for quite a long time, he didn't really put up much of a fight.  He's a big cat (about 16 lbs) and could probably do some damage if so inclined, but I don't know of anything he's ever intentionally scratched except for the sofa.

It occurred to me that even though I have found fleas (plural, no adjective), I've never found "a flea" (singular).  Instead I have found: a damn flea. another damn flea. yet another goddamned flea.  This type of infestation reduces my vocabulary but increases my ability to swear.  I digress.

Everybody else seemed to enjoy the brushing, Wendy usually hates holding still but I gave her a plastic hanger to chew on and she was perfectly content.  It's amazing how much they will simply put up with, apparently just making the assumption that "Mom is doing something so let's just humor her."  They're so willing for me to impose my will upon them... I really shouldn't begrudge Wendy that lap time when I'm not doing anything necessary or even noteworthy.

My point here is simply that it's wrong of me to move the cats out of the way when I'm not actually doing something that can't be interrupted.  It's been an hour and I don't remember what it was that Wendy was preventing, how worthy a pursuit could it have been?

Little scattered today, this all had perfectly fluid structure in my head...

I think that I may in fact be the most self-absorbed person in the world, and in spite of feeling kind of guilty about it, I can't seem to help myself.  I just want to wallow in my own self-pity and have an audience surround me, enthralled by the various trials of my life.

I fell off the Weight Watchers wagon.  I gained 6 lbs.  I feel like a fat, disgusting excuse for a human being, even in the pretty new bra and underwear that I bought myself yesterday in an attempt to feel less fat and disgusting.

I alternately miss and hate my parents.

I have a wonderful vocabulary and a good sense of humor.  I have a sincere laugh.  I slide into friendships easily.  I am loyal.  I am well-read in a variety of subjects.  I love Faulkner and Hesse.  I like philosophy.  I am extremely intelligent.

I am also horribly depressed.  I use people and then throw them away because I need to get rid of them before they get rid of me.  I am burdensome.  I get angry at inappropriate times and often refuse to say that I'm sorry, even when I know I'm wrong.  I can't seem to do anything with my life.  I have dropped out of college twice.

I blame a lot of things on my condition.  Sometimes I'm afraid that it's not a disorder, and that everything bad is my real personality and all the good things are a complete fake.

I don't think anybody but my pets will ever truly love me and forgive me for all the bad things.

Xiao Wen came home.  Earlier today I took a nap with Wendy and Paxil.  I take joy in the fact that Maybel tolerates other people but genuinely likes me.

Maybel and I have been together for 8 years.  My relationship with her is the best relationship I have ever had, period.

Steve said that we should move to his place when my house gets foreclosed.  Maybe he's just humoring me, but I suspect I might end up doing it anyway.  I think I like him more than he likes me.

I want to be one of those people who decorates their home... and it's actually cute.  My stuff has lots of cute potential, but it's not organized very well, it's junky, and plus to make it worse I'm a bit of a slob.  Maybe with my next relocation I'll be able to trim a lot of the non-cute or non-me stuff.  When people come to my house (which admittedly is only a few times a year) I want them to think wow, Adrienne is so artsy and bohemian, just LOOK at all those neat toys and doodads and rat items!  If only we could be so original and witty like her.

Okay I don't really feel that way about the last bit, but I would like to have a neat-o place.  My things can be cute if I just work on it, but I don't want to put forth the effort.

Step 1 might be to find a place with no tile in the living room.  In theory it's easy to sweep and maintain... but when you track stuff onto tile, you've basically just set it free to travel your whole home.  When your cats shed on tile, they produce mini-cats made out of hair, who then proceed to wander around on their own and reproduce.  I have an infestation of these cats.  I can't seem to get rid of them, because who really has time to move all of their furniture every day to eradicate them?  And if you miss a day, it's like you never did anything at all.

I love my cats Very Very Much, have I mentioned that?  When I woke up this morning, every member of my household was in bed with me!  Steve was taking up half the bed, then the 4 cats and I shared the other half.  As soon as they saw me stir and realized this was an opportunity for food, they all began acting up to get attention (the cats, not Steve).  You can see their little faces so earnestly shouting get-up-get-up-get-up.. omg mom we're gonna starve to death... look how cute we are... look how hungry we are... look I can barely stand on my own because I'm soooo weak (it's certainly not from that extra layer of blubber all my cats quickly acquire)...

Oh well, they're worth it.  After I fed the cats I gave the hamsters some grapes (when are these things moving out, I wonder).

I can't seem to bring this post to a logical close.  How about, I need to leave for work in 30 minutes and I'm unshowered and undressed?  That's pretty good.

I'm eating some this morning for breakfast.  Been doing that a lot lately, and often for lunch too.  Good thing it was buy one get one free this week!

Steve's really depressed again... last night I went and got Panera as kind of a treat since I'm too broke to eat out much.  I'm not sure if it made him feel any better or not, but at least I really enjoyed my sandwich.

Nelina has a court date on Monday and thank god I found somebody to cover for me at work.  Pretty sure I'm taking the whole day off, although I promised the tech who is coming in that I'd call when we were done to see if she wanted to skate out or not.

Xiao Wen is being the biggest brat ever, he's started to put his feet in his water fountain (yes, they have their own fountain) and throw water on the floor.  Grrrrrrrr.  It just occured to me that I haven't mentioned Maybel, Paxil, or Wendy lately.  They're all doing well and haven't done anything irritating enough to merit a write-up here.

I think I'm keeping it together pretty well, all things considered.  My nightmare from yesterday turned out to not be true, and hopefully I won't have any more of them for at least a little while.