5 posts tagged “morrissey”
Ahmagad, the concert was phenomenal! The opening band was of the wailing and bang-on-the-keyboard type, thus Kenny didn't care for it but I kinda liked it. Even so, I was happy to be rid of them to make way for Morrissey!!
There's no way that he could ever fit all my favorite songs into one concert set, so of course there were a few songs I wished I'd heard but still, it was great. At one point he ripped off his shirt and threw it into the audience -swoon!- and really kept up a good rapport with the concertgoers throughout. I'm kind of at a loss to explain the time I had, but it was really awesome and I'm glad I had the chance to see him. :-)
ps - At one point someone threw their underwear up on the stage. I swear it wasn't me.
I was so thrilled last night when I went outside to feed Xiao Wen... and she came right up to me!! Usually she hangs back and won't get closer than 2-3 feet, but yesterday she just waltzed right up and commenced eating. She even let me pet her some, which made me so happy! I don't know if she was just unusually hungry and decided I was worth tolerating or what, but either way I was thrilled.
Tonight is Morrissey night! Hooray! I took the day off work so I'll be running various errands (blah) and going to the therapist (meh) today, but tonight will be all about having fun. :-)
I don't think I mentioned it, but I got my hair cut the other day... it is Very Short. I really like it, it's so much cooler (not in a fashion sense, but in a my-head-doesn't-sweat sense) and it actually dries on its own in under 4 hours. I had around 11 inches of hair cut off, which I donated to Locks of Love. I think they are a very worthy and unique organization, so I hope my hair goes to make bangs for someone or whatever. :-)
So I woke up at 4am again today, just wide awake with Kenny sleeping soundly in the bed next to me. I was intensely jealous that he was so quiet and passed out and there I was unable to sleep and my mind racing again. I came downstairs and turned on FFXI to fish a little bit, I thought maybe the repetition of it would quiet my mind and let me go back to sleep. Kind of the opposite happened, the pretend fishing doesn't really require any kind of intellect or mental capacity (it's just... 6.... 4... 4444... 666666.... 444... 66... ENTER) and so my mind took off on random directions.
It's odd, when I get like this I sometimes dwell on the same memories for no reason at all. They are not even things that I consider particularly significant from my life, and I can't even connect them to an appropriate anecdote for day to day use. Some of them are things I've probably never told anyone that I think about, not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed but because they have no real bearing on anything in my current life. I finally did end up going back to sleep around 6am, and when I woke up at 9:30 and took my shower the same thoughts still kept wandering through my head. I need an exorcism, so here goes... nothing that I want to forget, but I just want to get the memories out of my head and into a written form. Maybe I can make way for new memories. Here's everything that comes to me in the midst of mania:
I remember my father telling me that he used to listen to a radio station, 560AM. They announced their 6:00PM news as "the news at 5:60."
I wear a ring that my mother made, I never take it off. She told me that sometimes in her jewelry-making class, the teacher would be late, but it was okay because one of the students was a locksmith. He would pick the lock and let everyone inside to start without the teacher.
When Karyn was a baby, she had such long fingers that I loved to hold her hand. She was so tiny and her fingers felt so strange on my palm, I imagined growing up and protecting her from everything.
In high school, Katie and I had plans to go see the movie Congo as soon as it came out. She ditched me and went with her friends instead. Eric took me to the same showing, and we wound up sitting right in front of Katie and her friends. She kept putting her feet up on the headrest of my seat. I hated her for it.
My parents always thought I drank and did drugs, but they were wrong. Even when they didn't come out and say it, I knew what they thought about me. In reality I was the only person in my group of friends who DIDN'T do those things.
Once in Texas, I got in trouble and sent to my room. I was on my bed crying, and Emily jumped up on my chest. She licked the tears off my face.
In the waiting room of an abortion clinic in Orlando I saw a woman who had brought her dog with her. I heard snippets of her conversation with the man sitting next to her. I think they were catching a plane as soon as she was done. I wanted to take the dog out of his carrier and kiss him and tell him that the world was a good place after all.
I think a lot about the physical abuse when I was younger. I was once held upside down by my feet and hit over and over with a belt because I left a cup of milk in the laundry room instead of putting it in the kitchen. I don't know if the person who did this even remembers. They have never acknowledged any of it.
When I adopted Maybel, at first I felt like I had betrayed Snuggle by bringing home a new cat. It was hard to love Maybel in the beginning and I really wondered if I had made a bad decision. Now, I adore her. She's just as emotionally fragile as me and I hope she lives forever so I can always look out for her.
My mom once discovered our cat Smokey with a rat (a mouse? can't remember) outside and she didn't want him to kill it. I put on gloves and she helped me catch it and let it go safely. I hope it lived a long time and had lots of babies.
I hate the color yellow by itself.
My dad used to have me type stuff for him when we lived in Washington. He probably could have done it just as efficiently himself but I was always proud to be asked to help.
One quarter in gym class, we had to design and perform our own gymnastics routine. Whatever lesson planner came up with that was a fucking moron.
I've never been pretty. Sometimes I look at pictures of myself when I was a teenager, and I sort of have that "I'm young and anything can happen" kind of prettiness, but that's it. I wonder what people think when they look at me now.
The first time I saw Kenny, I was instantly attracted to him. The first time I had a conversation with him, I was thrilled to find someone who was smart enough to keep up with whatever I said. I am the luckiest woman alive.
Reminiscing time is over, I need to put my blanket in the dryer and head out for a little bit. I hope no one who reads this thinks I'm depressed, because I'm really not. And the title of this entry is from a line in a Morrissey song that was playing when I started typing... Kenny got tickets for us to go to see Morrissey on Tuesday. Did I mention I'm the luckiest woman alive?
Here's the speedy update:
1. Mia is moving to a different household because we are tired of dealing with a puppy (or, as she's known around here, "that fucking puppy that pees all over the floor"). She's a sweet dog but she needs to be in a home that actually relishes the idea of urine-stained rugs and impromptu feces sculptures.
2. It looks like I'll be returning to the Dunn Ave. pharmacy soon, and I am sooooo happy about it! Yulee is an awesome store to work in, but the hour drive combined with the fact that I don't sleep well anymore... I almost passed out in the pharmacy today from sheer tiredness.
3. My therapist told me today that I have to re-brainwash myself (apparently they'll just let anyone become a therapist). The idea is that I need to surround myself with encouraging and affirming statements so that I actually start to believe I'm not helpless and feeble. The only issue here... I -don't- think I'm helpless and feeble. At least, not all the time. Only when I have my episodes, and I really don't know that an index card reminding me "You are capable!" is going to help me when I'm sobbing and curled up in the fetal position. But, the idea has some merit behind it - I do understand about replacing my subconscious belief and whatnot....
4. and oh my god a cat just knocked a mug off my table and I'm pretty sure it's shattered all over my floor. I really wish they would save things like that until after I've gotten in bed, because at least then I can justify ignoring it until the morning. "oh, THAT crashing noise from last night? I thought it was just the wind..."
5. Other Mike will be here for the last weekend in August. Huzzah!
6. My sister Karyn e-mailed me and said that she'd like to visit as well - yes, Karyn, that would be awesome, and I'm sorry that I haven't replied to your e-mail yet! I've been wrapped up in other stuff (refer to update points 1 and 3) and I'm a pretty crappy e-mailer anyhow. Picking up a phone and calling me is definitely the way to go if you want an insta-response. :-) Feel free to bring Austin, I've got room for everyone, and we can do the same arrangement as last time (if I can't get off work, just drop me off and take my car). -> just keep in mind that the last weekend in August already has someone sleeping on my sofa, so if you come then you'll be chilling on the floor that has been anointed quite a few times by Mia
Off to gather together the shards of my pen-holding-mug.
ps - Morrissey is coming here and if I don't go I will DIE. Painfully. And Morrissey-less-ly.
Today (10-11, in case this post goes past midnight) is my 26th birthday... yippee and all that. On the whole it's been a fairly uneventful day, saw Kenny for just a few minutes this morning while I was getting ready for work - I miss him! Did some relief work at store 141 today, which had a nice surprise... I drove over to store 179 to pick up a couple extra packs of script labels, and Ankur (pharmacist at 179) bought me a little Carvel cake since it was my birthday. :-) I hung out in the pharmacy with him for almost an hour, just chitchatting and eating yummy cake. He's one of my favorite pharmacists and I hardly ever get to see him, so it was nice to have a relaxed visit.
My parents gave me a hefty credit at Amazon to spend as I wish, and I'm very torn!! The problem with shopping at Amazon and not having one specific thing in mind is that there are LOTS of options. I found two awesome rat prints that I know I want, although I'm waiting until I move to pass final judgement. It would be a horrible shame to splurge on rat photos and then have no perfect spot to display them!
The rat pics are: this one and this other one. Aren't they cute??
Other possible acquisitions are the rest of the Red Dwarf series on DVD, giant cat furniture for Zazuu and Maybel, or tons and tons of books.
This Morrissey song has absolutely nothing to do with birthdays, but it's stuck in my head... feel free to listen and get it stuck in yours, too.
